Funny Mommies

My last minute tribute to all the moms out there! Belated Happy Mom's Day! Especially to the best mom in the entire universe...my mom! Hey, every kid thinks that her mom is the best in the world:) Allow me to be a little boastful.

Behind every famous person is a mother who believed in her child first before the world found out of their genius. Yes, a mother will always be a child's greatest fan.

I'm speaking from experience. Do you know that my mom keeps a copy of all my essays?! And she rereads them a lot! Lol! Talk about Ellafanatic. The world may think that I'm the lousiest writer but I can always count on my mom to say that I am better than all Pulitzer winners combined. See? She even distorts reality and tries to believe in them too. The world can go on and think anything it wants about me and I wouldn't give a damn. Because at the end of each day, the whole humanity may snub me, and no matter how I trampled my self-esteem, I know that my biggest fan is sitting at home, only a phone call away. And she's the only fan that matters:)

I asked her before to stop keeping my essays because it's SOOO embarassing. She told me, "Do you know that moms are excused from the law of humility? We are allowed to be extra proud of our kids." I rest my case. But I do wish kids are given extra inch of thickness to bear the embarassment caused by this exemption from humility law. But I'm not complaining:)

Happy Mother's Day Ma! I love you!

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Abraham Lincoln's Mom:
"Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

Barney's Mom:
"I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple!"

Mary's Mom:
"I'm not upset the you lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you?!"

Batman's Mom:
"It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance will be?!"

Goldilock's Mom:
"I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the bear family. You know anything about this Goldie?"

Little Miss Muffet's Mom:
"Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

Albert Einstein's Mom:
"But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

George Washington's Mom:
"The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance goodbye!"

Jonah's Mom:
"That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the past 3 days!"

Superman's Mom:
"Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"

Thomas Edison's Mom:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, dear. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

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If I am Thy child, O God, it is because Thou gavest me such a mother.
- St. Augustine

A woman's love is mighty, but a mother's heart is weak, and by its weakness overcomes.
- Lowell

Mother - the essence of loveliness,
The beauty of a rose,
The sparkle of a dewdrop
And sunset's sweet repose.
- Lydia M. Johnson

No Poet's pen. Nor artist's brush
In Justice to her fame
Ever could reach high enough
To write a mother's name.
- Anonymous