Canned Sexualities

This was an assignment for our OT 140 class.
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I am a daughter of Eve and I totally love being a part of this huge and exclusive sorority. I love to lavish on the perks that come with my sexuality and then boldly face the struggles it carries with it, those things that only a woman can understand. Just for the ladies, no gentlemen allowed.

Anyway it is easy to see if an intruder from the other species, we call men (to some of my sisters, they prefer “my boys”,) is trying gate crash. All it takes is just one look and it’s like distinguishing yin from yang. But beyond the physical distinctions, there is more to being a woman than the stereotyped image of 36-24-36, 5’ 6”, and Heidi Klum looks (90% of my sisters, including me, are not born to rule the runway, so we have long accepted the fact to just simply stay as beautiful creatures.) And this is where the uniqueness of every woman comes in, the expression of our sexuality, our femininity.

It has always been a predicament to veer away from the typical conception of womanhood: fragility, grace, poise, beauty, gentleness. This rebellious side of being a woman, the desire to be seen as strong, powerful, and independent, is always craving to get out. Probably to spite the norms of society dominated by the criterion established by men. But in the course of evolution, most of us decided to just stick to being fabulous than being brawny and manly, and use our femininity to get away with things.

Admittedly, I preferred and thus been expressing my sexuality through the old typecasting of being woman. I was part of the women population who stuck to being ladylike. I don’t know why but for me it has always been easier to be fragile than tough, to be graceful than being stiff, to be gentle than rough. And being poised and gorgeous just come so naturally for a woman, as if we were innately endowed of being fabulous.

Expressions, I prefer to tag them as “symptoms”, of my womanhood include: strong attraction to shoes (often accompanied with the draining of my allowance straight into the cash register); being fickle-minded; addiction to chick flicks and tearjerkers (and always end up crying or getting kilig after the movie); always asking my guy friends to do things for me; being soft-hearted specially to kids and to the elderly; getting butterflies in the stomach and gummy-bear-knees when my crushes pass by; when strangled in a no-win battle with my male friends I would show a glint of tears and voila! I get my way (I know, I’m evil); using PMS as an excuse for being grumpy; enjoying conversations from sunset to sunrise with my girl friends; using my being a girl as an excuse for not doing yucky and heavy works; not really saying the truth when I say “yes” and “I’m fine”; having girl talks with my mom and sister; a passive supporter of women movements (I’m not directly affiliated); strong believer of women empowerment; a fan of sports dominated by women like gymnastics and synchronize swimming; absolutely hates chauvinism; have erratic mood swings; easily swept away by gentlemen’s gestures; enjoys being pampered and complimented; thinks that Chris Evans is hot; and is gullible to cheesiness.

But aside from my strong inclination towards women stuff, I also enjoy doing things which are mostly associated to men like: enjoying my fencing classes, loving the adrenaline rush of learning to drive, takes pleasure in watching guy sports like equestrian, kart racing, and lawn tennis, being adventurous (but still short of being a dare-devil), loving the farm life, my love for fast cars and 4WD racing; being lazy, being stubborn, and a tendency of being bossy.

But up until yesterday, I haven’t really thought of searching for the meaning of sexuality. I didn’t really see any need for it (until Sir Lenin gave the homework, hehe.) I thought knowing that I’m a girl, I am comfortable with it, I’m not having sexuality-crisis, and majority of my passions and interests fall into what the society considers as normal for a girl, I would be fine.

Sexuality is an identity expression based on or influenced by biological sex. It also means the demonstration of intimacy and sexual sensations between humans (Human Sexuality, 2006.) Various cultures across the world perceive sexuality differently and throughout history this view has constantly changed. To say that it is a very broad topic is an understatement. Its scope ranges from “the physiological, psychological, social, cultural, political, and spiritual or religious aspects; philosophy, particularly ethics and the study of morality, as well as theology” (Human Sexuality, 2006)

But commonly, sexuality is associated with its social aspect. The “stereotypes of masculine and feminine behaviors and characteristics that permeate our culture” (Caring for Your School-Age Child: Ages 5-12, 1999.) It influences social standards and in the process, is also influenced by society, particularly in the modes of expression. The direction of a person’s sexuality or having affectional attraction to another person is known as sexual orientation or sexual preference (term used by “those who believe that sexuality is fluid and incorporates an element of choice” (Sexual Orientation, 2006)).

My previous perception about sexuality is not that far in comparison to the new insights (no matter how vague and limited) that I have read. Mine was concentrated on the social features of sexuality and the expected behaviors I should possess to gain approval from society.

I may be traditional and orthodox in my views about sexuality and lines that delineate males from females but I have always been open about other sexual preferences. I have been a believer that there is more to a person than sexuality, more to life than the name-posts tagged by our culture and society.

Michael Stipe sums it all, “I've always felt that sexuality is a really slippery thing. In this day and age, it tends to get categorized and labeled, and I think labels are for food. Canned food.”